Finding Your Authentic Relationship
Until you know how to be your true self, finding a relationship that is authentic, lasting, true love...will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
Until you choose to be yourself, you will keep attracting relationships based on illusions and ideals. You are being someone to make that person like you, they are being someone to make you like them. After a while, the relationship falls apart because you were not being yourselves. You were just holding on to some fantasy that you created, which lacks any foundation for a real relationship.
However, you did need to go through those relationships in order to get closer to what you truly want and who you are. Becoming aware of where you were not being yourself is the first step. The sooner you can be authentic and aware, the sooner you will attract this person into your life, and you may not have to go through a bunch more lessons. Just learn it now!
There is a clarity, honesty, and trust that comes with finding your true love.
The clarity is really knowing when you are being real, and when you are acting from ego, fear, and insecurities. Clarity of knowing if someone is really for you and its a yes on all levels (mind, body, soul), or if its a clear no. Any lingering, nagging doubts should be an indication to you that it is a no.
The honesty is really being honest with yourself and with the other person. If you have to lie to yourself that you think this relationship can work even if this or that is not quite right, but good enough, and you will settle because you’d rather not be alone, then it definitely won’t work. And if you are not honest with the other person about how you actually feel, or you’re afraid to hurt them, or you want to please them... this is a recipe for a breakup in the near future.
Trust is trusting yourself when you know something is off, or you know something is very good. If you don’t trust the other person, its really because you don’t trust yourself to have good judgement. Becoming clear in what is true and false, and trusting that instinct, will clear away any chance of getting hurt and you will only allow into your life someone who is genuine and trustworthy.
It is when two people who have this full awareness and authenticity come together, that magic is bound to happen. It may be that the two of you had to go through all the “lessons” first before you would finally find each other. And when you do find that person, it just clicks. You know it is right. And your body, mind and soul are all in alignment within and with the other person.
Trust yourself. Know yourself. If there are any doubts that linger and you just don’t feel right about this person, let that person go. Because there’s no point in living a lie. There’s no point in settling. Being patient with life and the process is important.
This is not to say that when you do find your true love, there wont be some levels of doubt, challenges, and insecurities. This is just the past hurt creeping up on us. If the love is real, and you are real, and you catch yourself in the past hurt and trauma, learn to heal it and let it go, you will have more clarity and trust in the person who is in front of you. And if you are both self aware and trust in each other, nothing can break this. The challenges will only make your relationship stronger. Authenticity and openness will pave the way to an everlasting love.
When the time is right
You’re pushing. Struggling. Fighting. Get me out of here! I want to move on with my life!
Do you feel like time is running out? You had a schedule for your life, and nothing is going according to plan, is it?
That’s because you are running on divine timing. Your planned timing is just a figure of your imagination.
Not to say it isn’t good to have goals to keep you moving forward. But life is completely unpredictable and what you want in the order and time you want, will not necessarily happen this way. But why?
Your life is a set of lessons to be learned. If you try to skip something or go too fast, in one way or another, you will be slowed down or even stopped on your tracks with an unexpected event. Because there’s something to learn before you can move on to the next steps in life.
There is nothing to be worried about, because all these events are happening in perfect time. If you can have some faith, some acceptance, that this is all perfect, even if you feel like you’re going through hell, you will see once this time period passes, why you had to go through it in the first place. You would not be who you are today.
Have faith and trust. Think of a time that you thought you would never get out alive. But here you are. It always seems like the end of the world when we’re in it. But if you just look at it from the bigger picture, that event is so small compared to the entirety of life. We have so much to live for, and so many things to experience. Instead of getting stuck on this event or situation, let it teach you what it needs so you can move on to more. Listen to your inner guidance because this is key when getting the lessons. There are always endings and beginnings in life. But what is infinite is your soul and connection to the universe. There is no end in sight, and possibilities are endless. You can place limits on yourself and believe that this is all there is, or, you can push forward with faith that you are a being with unlimited potential. And if you stay open to this potential, when the time is right and the lessons are learned, magic happens.
TAKE YOUR POWER BACK FROM DISTRACTIONS
Do you ever find yourself coming home from a long day and turning on the TV? Does it play in the background while you are eating or doing chores, or do you find that the TV just ends up watching you sleep? What about Facebook and other social media? Or maybe you are constantly working, finding new projects, new friends, or new relationships.
What do all of these have in common?
Avoidance of self.
There is a fear underlying the loss of the distractions. The fear of oneself. Fear of no purpose. Fear of nothingness.
Because we don't know the meaning of life, why we are here...so we distract ourselves...then we do not have to face the reality that we are born alone, die alone...because this is a scary thought to most humans. All the in between is to get to the heart of our true selves, to be our purest self so that we can live in love and upliftment for ourselves and others. But most of us fill this time with work, projects, drugs, relationships, pets....these are not necessarily negative things. The only thing that makes it negative is if we use them as distractions.
We fear our thoughts, our pain, our emotions. Because if you feel or think, and you do not like the thoughts or feelings, it means needing to overcome the attachments leading to them.
Attachment is generally easier than letting go. To many, letting go of attachment means letting go of a purpose, of an object, of a person, of a pet, of a job, of a house, etc...etc...etc..
So staying attached then creates a false sense of happiness, the zombified happiness that many people are in.
So my sincere truth to you. Feel that feeling of fear, aloneness, and nothingness. Think those thoughts of the endings that are coming. And let yourself come to terms with all of it by being non-attached. You live in love. You live in neutrality. You live only to be who you truly are. You love who you are. You spread this love to others. Because there really is no other purpose for us here. That TV, job, social media, car, relationship... None of those attachments and distractions will have power over you. They will be there but you won't find yourself hypnotized by them any longer. They no longer are your source of happiness. You just wont allow it. YOU are your source of happiness.
You have chosen a new path, the path of non-attachment. The more you accept that all things that live, must die, and all physical objects are finite, the more you will know that the only infinite thing is your soul, and the souls you surround yourself with, and all together, ultimately God and universe. There is nothing more to attach to once you fall in love with the infinite. You play the game of life, like a small child, who is actually always happy, even when things go wrong. Because you are carefree, and know there is so much more than this physical existence.
The Green Cleanse - Mono Diet
This is usually a cleanse that goes for 40 days, about 5 weeks, based on the teachings of Yogi Bhajan.
If you can’t do 40 days, you can aim for 5, 10, 15, 20, or 30 days. This is like a meditation, a sadhana, daily practice, and with persistence and discipline, you will train yourself to get the results you want. Discipline through a daily practice will also spread to other areas of your life.
This cleanse alkalinizes the body, helps clear toxins from the liver, kidneys, lymph, colon. You should see changes in your skin, digestion and energy. Once a week, if you feel you need more protein, you can eat some nuts and cooked grains, but only a small portion as it could cause stomach pain.
Eat only green foods. This includes salads, steamed greens, avocados, sprouts, green olives and mung beans. Once you are done, this is when you add the fruits and grains back.
Steamed greens (Broccoli, kale, swiss chard, bok choy), sprouts, dill, parsley, spring onion, cucumber, lettuce, green olives, green chillies, wheatgrass juice, mung beans, seaweed, olive oil, spirulina, chlorella.
Avocadoes: 1 – 1½ a day
Jasmine Tea, Green Tea, Matcha green tea.
Lemon Juice, Honey, Soya Sauce (minimized)
Fruit: (none or 1-2x/week): Green Apples, Sultana Grapes, Kiwis, Sultana Raisins, Figs, Pears
Salt, Spices, Psyllium Husk (1tbsp/day) for Colon Cleansing
Pistachios, Pumpkin Seeds (none or 1-2x/week)
Drink lots of water: 2-3 litres per day (include herbal teas)
For recipe ideas, please send me a quick email! email@example.com
No Regrets - there are no mistakes
Do you look back in your past and feel like you could have done something better? Avoided a situation or person? Had better judgement of character to avoid being hurt? Maybe you hurt someone? Made a choice and now you feel you are “paying” for it?
These are all common thoughts and feelings people have when they look back and wish they could change some important decisions they made. The question is – are any of these mistakes, really mistakes?
You can see things a lot differently, which will make the road ahead much easier.
Every single choice, experience, decision made – even if the outcome did not seem as pleasant as we had hoped – is all part of the path that is leading to our growth and learning.
There are lessons our soul has to learn, so that our vibration can increase and be set free from suffering. We come to this world to learn, and the ultimate goal is enlightenment.
We are given the same lessons, over and over, until we finally get it. But we need to be ready to take the lesson. If we miss it, again, we will meet a person, make a decision, and ultimately CHOOSE to learn the lesson, yet again.
What happens is sometimes, we get sucked into self pity. We think “why me? WHY WHY WHY!?”
Change this thought to, “here is the lesson, yet again. Thank you universe, I am grateful to get another chance to grow.”
When you embrace every experience in this way, you will find the next experience will just keep bringing your vibration higher and higher. Meaning, your soul’s experience will jump to the next level of understanding, and you will start to see results in your life that you never thought were possible. You will finally be in a peaceful place in your career, family, partners, friends – not necessarily all at once, but when the time is right and the lessons are learned.
Always have faith that the universe is taking care of you and leading you in the direction for your highest good. Look forward, not back. The only time you look back is to gather the lessons.
Yoga for the Solar eclipse
New moons are a time to shed whats no longer serving you – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It is a time of new beginnings. The new moon of August 21st is combined with a solar eclipse, which means energies are fluctuating greatly. Emotions are more heightened, we may be hyper, overwhelmed, drained – this can happen for days before and after the eclipse. This type of energy is similar to that of the full moon, but may be even stronger at this time.
If you are especially sensitive, you may feel the shifts and effects even more strongly.
It is great to incorporate a practice in order to allow these energies to be transformed for our highest benefit and to set intentions. Yoga and meditation will help channel the heightened energy in a more direct way.
As a teacher, I usually gage where the energy of my students are. If around this time, I see heightened and “hyper” energy, I may choose to include a class that either helps to release this through a strong vinyasa flow or Kundalini yoga blast, or, we may go into a more gentle, calming flow. If the energy is drained, the class would be rejuvenating and allow for deep rest.
Regardless of what happens in the yoga class, the breath, movement, stretching, and meditation will help release, transform, and channel the amazing energy in a more healthy, healing and productive way!
Make the best of this time, and join me this week for some healing yoga classes.
Love, Light, and Health
Being True To Yourself
Many of us face our daily lives surrounded by messages, opinions, and criticisms – messages from the media, from society, from politicians, from acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and even family. What we need to recognize is that even a message from a most trusted friend, may not be OUR truth. What can happen is we take their words and make it true. We allow our minds to be shifted and shaped by outside opinions and beliefs. This is all these statements are – opinions and beliefs, not truths. It is not wrong to ask for advice, but the advice should be coming from a pure source, without any ego involvement. It takes some wisdom and intuition to differentiate where someone’s words are coming from, but soon you can capture when someone is giving you their advice or opinion based on fear or conditioning.
The key to making decisions in life is to be true to yourself. When society puts boundaries and rules around how to live your life, always question it. Is it wrong to take a path that supposedly seems risky, will not give you as much money, or maybe, will lead to a potential heart break or disappointment? Whatever you intuitively choose, whatever it leads to, this was the best path for your journey as a soul.
Choices we make can be wrong for only one reason – it is not what is true in our hearts.
If you know yourself, love yourself, and have faith that all will balance and be ok, always, ALWAYS follow your truth and your heart. Essentially, follow your gut, your intuition, and all will be well. Logic will play a roll, but combining this with intuition will help you feel through life, lead you to wonderful discoveries about yourself, and wonderful adventures. Things you would never have thought could happen, will happen, because you listened to your truth. You followed your instinct.
One mistake people make is to not believe in a gut feeling. I’m saying to you now, NEVER, EVER ignore this feeling. Listen, and listen patiently. Even if it seems confusing, one way or another, the truth is there.
Listen to the outside world with an open mind, but never let it influence your final decision, unless the messages are from pure truth.
You are an infinite being, connected to the infinite universe. You have nothing but answers inside. Let this connection to your highest self be the path you take in life. Live freely, be yourself. Let go if all the false beliefs, fears, and restrictions. Say what you mean, say what you feel, be who you are. There will always be those who do not appreciate your true essence; these are the people still stuck in the framework of society. You do not need these people in your life. But you WILL attract those who have found the truth, and those are the people who will remain in your life.
Yoga as a way of life
If you are new to yoga, you may be under the impression that the purpose is to stretch, be flexible, meditate, and relax the mind and body. These are definitely some really good reasons to attend a yoga class. However, it is much more than just what you do on your mat.
A lot of people say “I do yoga” – as if it is an activity, an exercise.
The definition of yoga is connection and oneness with the Universe.
What we really need to start saying is “I live yoga”.
Make this your new affirmation!
So when we are stretching, breathing and meditating on the mat, this represents a small portion of yoga. Being on the mat is a test, a test of the mind, body, and spirit. You are aware of yourself.
It is a time to create new habits, to transform, so that whatever is practised on the mat, can then be applied to real daily life.
You can actually do this with any type of yoga – it is all about your intention.
You may attend a class that is seemingly all about the “workout” – in fact, you may avoid these classes, or only go to these. But guess what? Even this physical type yoga class, can become a test of your inner strength. You can watch your thoughts and be present with yourself in every single sequence. You can learn about yourself and your tendencies, and bring this new awareness into your daily life.
Kundalini yoga is different in that it actually takes you more directly to your core, and in fact, may bring up deeper issues that need to be worked on in daily life. The awareness becomes so strong that you can immediately apply this to your life – whether it be a strong emotion, a thought, or perhaps a shift in perception.
Your reactions on the mat, are usually a representation of how you react in life.
Being in total awareness is the first step. The next step is to release the egos reactions, fear, anxiety, anger, guilt, shame, sadness...and connect to the real Self, to the Universe. Practice this on the yoga mat, then apply it to your life – you are living yoga. The real Self, is not all those attachments. When you “do” yoga, you are learning the art of non-attachment, non-reaction. Notice that thought, maybe “I can’t do this pose”. Notice that feeling – maybe anxiety. Ask yourself where this is coming from. Most likely it is an attachment to something or someone.
Living yoga means letting go of all these attachments, and being one with all life and the universe. Loving yourself and life, no matter how harsh things might seem out there. Being still – being aware – being at peace – within.
Use each and every moment in your yoga class to achieve the real essence of yoga.
A beautiful example of living yoga is when I was in Bali. I remember the pure energy of the people who lived there. I was in a yoga class, while someone was sweeping very loudly just outside the space. I felt myself starting to react, annoyed. Then I realized, they don’t see it is a bothersome noise, because they are so present in the moment of life, they would not let such a noise affect them if they were in my position. They are so at peace with themselves, that they don’t let such small, insignificant things, bother them. They are just simply happy. This is true yoga.
How to break free from regret
Are you brooding over a decision you made that seemed wrong? Maybe there was a seemingly bad outcome? Now you feel like you’re living with this so called “mistake”?
As humans, we have a tendency to create problems and drama in our lives when really none of it is necessary. We like to attach to things, including the outcome of decisions we made, and punish ourselves for them. It is time to break free.
First of all, there is no such thing as a bad decision.
A decision you make can cause a lot of pain or tragedy – but calling it a mistake is not the right way to look at it. Looking at any outcome from place of neutrality will make you realize how life is just a flow of events, nothing is good or bad, it just is.
It’s how you decide to let it affect you that makes the difference.
Know that, this too shall pass.
This event or circumstance is all part of a greater plan. Even if death is involved, know that life is perfect as it is, tragedies happen, but the universe will ALWAYS take care of you. Even if you end up with no money at all – even this will lead you to a great lesson, person, or situation – all there to help you grow as a soul.
We do have choices, but whatever you choose is your subconscious helping you and challenging you to grow as a soul. If you make a decision that leads to an apparent tragedy in your life, there is no need to live in regret anymore, once you see how this decision has actually made you grow and become stronger.
Forget about living in the past, “I should have done this instead”, and so on. Know that time will show you your path, and all those “mistakes” are part of the path. Just listen to your inner wisdom, your inner radar to show you the way, because all the answers are within. Trust in the process, and life will be much simpler and lighter.
Much love, light and health on your journey.
Let it go! with hypnotherapy
Are you ready to let this go? Are you ready to move forward?
These are some of the first questions I ask my client when they are starting a hypnotherapy session with me. Healing can only happen if you are ready and willing to accept the changes and new perspectives. Essentially you will come to know and accept your true Self, and be FREE.
Hypnotherapy is not what most people think. You are in full control of the session. You are dialoguing with me and can always hear me.
I am the guide, who takes you through to the root cause of your problem, to help you heal, and then you make the choice to allow the healing to happen, or not.
The less resistance there is, the better. It may require facing some pent up emotions or memories that you have suppressed for years. The question is how much you are ready and willing to go there.
I recently discovered that while having a patient hooked up on the Quantum Biofeedback machine, there seems to be a much quicker and deeper trance when the person is taken through hypnosis. The machine helps relax the mind and body, which gives the client a deeper look into the subconscious mind, thoughts, and memories. The key is being relaxed and having a somewhat vivid imagination. This combination of the biofeedback and hypnotherapy worked great, as I barely needed to induce a state of relaxation. My client was already there!
If you have a fear, resentment, anger, sadness, addiction, insomnia, or even a physical ailment that has not been healed, hypnotherapy can help you find and heal the root cause.
Keep in mind, each session will usually peel a layer of the many layers that may be there. One session may resolve one thing, but depending how deep the issue is, more sessions are usually required. Everyone is unique, and everyone as a chance to reach their full potential as a human being. The key is letting go of the things that no longer serve you!
Elvira is a Licensed Naturopathic Doctor and Certified Yoga Instructor. She combines her knowledge of the naturopathic modalities with mind-body therapy, yoga, ayurveda, exercise, and energy healing.