Finding Your Authentic Relationship
Until you know how to be your true self, finding a relationship that is authentic, lasting, true love...will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
Until you choose to be yourself, you will keep attracting relationships based on illusions and ideals. You are being someone to make that person like you, they are being someone to make you like them. After a while, the relationship falls apart because you were not being yourselves. You were just holding on to some fantasy that you created, which lacks any foundation for a real relationship.
However, you did need to go through those relationships in order to get closer to what you truly want and who you are. Becoming aware of where you were not being yourself is the first step. The sooner you can be authentic and aware, the sooner you will attract this person into your life, and you may not have to go through a bunch more lessons. Just learn it now!
There is a clarity, honesty, and trust that comes with finding your true love.
The clarity is really knowing when you are being real, and when you are acting from ego, fear, and insecurities. Clarity of knowing if someone is really for you and its a yes on all levels (mind, body, soul), or if its a clear no. Any lingering, nagging doubts should be an indication to you that it is a no.
The honesty is really being honest with yourself and with the other person. If you have to lie to yourself that you think this relationship can work even if this or that is not quite right, but good enough, and you will settle because you’d rather not be alone, then it definitely won’t work. And if you are not honest with the other person about how you actually feel, or you’re afraid to hurt them, or you want to please them... this is a recipe for a breakup in the near future.
Trust is trusting yourself when you know something is off, or you know something is very good. If you don’t trust the other person, its really because you don’t trust yourself to have good judgement. Becoming clear in what is true and false, and trusting that instinct, will clear away any chance of getting hurt and you will only allow into your life someone who is genuine and trustworthy.
It is when two people who have this full awareness and authenticity come together, that magic is bound to happen. It may be that the two of you had to go through all the “lessons” first before you would finally find each other. And when you do find that person, it just clicks. You know it is right. And your body, mind and soul are all in alignment within and with the other person.
Trust yourself. Know yourself. If there are any doubts that linger and you just don’t feel right about this person, let that person go. Because there’s no point in living a lie. There’s no point in settling. Being patient with life and the process is important.
This is not to say that when you do find your true love, there wont be some levels of doubt, challenges, and insecurities. This is just the past hurt creeping up on us. If the love is real, and you are real, and you catch yourself in the past hurt and trauma, learn to heal it and let it go, you will have more clarity and trust in the person who is in front of you. And if you are both self aware and trust in each other, nothing can break this. The challenges will only make your relationship stronger. Authenticity and openness will pave the way to an everlasting love.
Elvira is a Licensed Naturopathic Doctor and Certified Yoga Instructor. She combines her knowledge of the naturopathic modalities with mind-body therapy, yoga, ayurveda, exercise, and energy healing.